My Autistic strengths that best support me when I am overwhelmed
To be Autistic is to struggle. Not all the time, but enough of the time that it it’s important that we are aware of the strengths of our unique neurotype that can be of huge benefit in these times of struggle.
These are the strengths I reach for when I feel dysregulated …
- Hijacking my Heightened Sensory System
I can support my emotional system by using my heightened sensory system. Just as noises, lights, smells can impact and assault me in a negative way, I also use my heightened sensitivity to my senses to support me in a positive way. My go to Spotify playlists, my favourite candle, wearing uplifting colour, preferably in a super soft fabric, all lights on low / off, snuggling with my dog on my lap or a weighted blanket are all ways that my sensitive sensory system works FOR me. Being neurodivergent means my sensory system significantly impacts my emotions, in a positive way, not just a negative way.
- Body Doubling
I had never heard the term body doubling before realising I am Autistic but this phenomenon of supporting a dysregulated nervous system with the regulated nervous system of a close friend or family member, or even a pet, means that when I am feeling heightened emotions, being around someone who exudes calm, and I feel safe with, allows me to regulate and match my emotions to theirs, thus turning down my amped up emotions.
- Demand Awareness
Many Autists also have a PDA profile – a pervasive desire for autonomy – and we can at times find demands or needs placed on us very difficult. This is particularly difficult when we are dysregulated. I notice that when I am struggling emotionally, any feeling of demands, even felt demands like being ‘up’, or being able to complete daily tasks can be too much. I let myself off the hook, create a super low demand day, and allow myself to be soothed by the acknowledgement that I am aware of and accommodating my needs.
- Distraction
As an Autistic person I regularly use distraction as a bridge when I am dysregulated. For me, at times like this, when I can be in a thought loop, spiralling into needless rumination, calm seems so far out of my reach that it’s laughable at best, deeply frustrating at worst. In those moments, where zen-like calm is unavailable to me, distraction in a safe activity offers me the bridge I need to get from a place of struggle to a place of calm. My favourite go-to distractions are Netflix, running with a podcast or Audiobook, engaging in my interests (see point below) or cooking or painting with layered music on loud!! Layered music has the added benefit of providing me with loads of dopamine and I really recommend it. Check out my Spotify playlist here
- Monotropic thinking
Linked to my point on distraction above is my monotropic way of thinking. When I am engaged in one of my favourite interests, I can reach a state of flow that Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi could only dream of achieving! For me this is often Autistic research which might sound really nerdy and boring to some but is fascinating and has the added benefit of being deeply affirmative and validating for me. Autistic monotropic thinking means we can lose hours and hours to our interests, not needing to rest, eat or drink, never tiring from our interest and finding a place of ease and sense in what can otherwise be an often unpredictable and chaotic world.
- Nesting
Along with many Autists I love and find deep safety in routine and order, structure and clarity. When I am struggling and feeling ‘not myself’, nesting is often a restorative activity for me. This hits on many levels; it makes my safe space of my home feel even safer and more ‘me’, it supports my values of providing a calm home for my kids, it regulates my nervous system, it is very aesthetically pleasing and rewarding for me to bring a space from messy or ‘not quite right’ to calm, it brings me huge serenity to feel ‘on top of things’, it feels right and just (important feelings for me!) for me to show respect to a place I love so much and it allows me to engage in one of my favourite Autistic activities; systemising and putting everything back where it belongs. Nesting – there is no greater bliss for me and a bit of nesting often soothes and regulates my nervous system.
- Stimming
Stimming; self-stimulatory or self-soothing behaviour is something I had never heard of before learning I am Autistic. When we think of stimming, it is frequently an image of someone, often a child, twirling or spinning that comes to mind. For the high-masking Autist, however, we can notice that we have adapted our stims over our lifetime to become more subtle and ‘acceptable’ (that is we are not told to stop doing it). Some stims to soothe my nervous system that I have noticed in myself are chewing gum, twirling my necklace and my rings, rubbing my fingers or my hands, hugging my loved ones. Now when I notice myself reach for these stims, I smile and celebrate that I have naturally and subconsciously learnt ways to gently and compassionately soothe myself when needed.
- Spoons Inventory
As an Autistic person I am prone to fatigue and burnout. I simply do not have the same capacity and energy to do things as a non-Autistic person and reading about Christine Miserandino’s Spoons Theory has been really helpful when I am struggling (and even better to use all the time so that I don’t reach a point of struggling as easily). Imagine your energy as a limited number of spoons and each thing you do or experience either takes a spoon(s) or adds to your number of spoons(s). For example, nature, water – even a long shower, a cuddle, rest all add to my number of spoons whereas socialising, working, exercising, errands all deplete my spoons. It’s important to highlight that the things that take my spoons are not all negative, or something I don’t want to do, but they require a lot of my (limited) energy. Accepting that I need to be more selective of where I use my spoons and pulling back from things that use a lot of my spoons, really helps me to not reach a place of overwhelm and possible meltdown as often, and helps me to redefine my agenda when I am struggling.
No matter how much I support myself, adapt my environment and learn to live in a way that allows me to thrive, being Autistic means that there will always be times where I struggle, where the world feels too much. It is so important that we allow this and build awareness of the supports that are unique and helpful to us that we can turn to in these times.
If you are curious to learn more about the Autistic experience, please contact me at christine@christinedoyle.ie where I will be more than happy to support you with your questions.